FIC Impetus to Change (1/1) (ATWT)

[blairprovence]

 This is a bit of ATWT fanfiction in response to recent spoilers.

Impetus to Change
Rated: PG
Disclaimer: They are not mine.  If they were, we would see them a lot more often.
Summary:  Luke has a conversation

Noah knew it was childish, but at that moment it didn’t matter.  He’d been waiting for Maddie in the far corner booth at Al’s, and when he’d seen Luke walk up the sidewalk out front, it had been pure instinct that had sent him ducking down behind the high vinyl seatback.  So he was a freaking eight-year-old now – looking back, childhood hadn’t been so bad, right?

Seeing Luke, talking to Luke, meant thinking about things he was too tired to contemplate just now.  The constant daily contact at WOAK was bad enough – there had to be someplace in Oakdale free of Luke’s disquieting presence, especially since Noah couldn’t seem to get him out of his own head.

So, of course Luke would choose to come to Al’s, to sit down in the booth right behind Noah’s, unknown companion in tow.  Noah ducked down further in his booth, but their voices were still clearly audible.

 

“Are you sure you don’t mind eating at Al’s, Grandma?  I just don’t have time for real food today, but we could get together next week or-“

 

“Nice try, darling.”  The voice of the woman who cut Luke off could only be termed strident, if still somehow affectionate.  “Don’t change the subject.”

 

“I thought we were done with the subject.”  There was a short pause.

 

“Luke.”

 

Luke emitted a gusty sigh.  “It’s a little weird that you’re so interested, Grandma, don’t you think?”

 

She laughed.  “Are you joking, darling?  I know your mother and father have surely told you all the stories.  Of course I’m interested – and have shown admirable restraint up to this point, I must say.  Spill.”  Beat.  “I’ll get it out of you eventually.  You know this.”

 

There came the sound of fingers drumming against Formica.  “I think the government could really use you, Grandma.  They’ve got a lot of people to interrogate these days.”

 

“Very funny.”

 

There was a short break in the conversation as Vienna came to get their orders.  They both firmly refused everything from her list of Swedish delicacies, before ordering burgers and shakes.  Noah almost smiled – “Grandma” did not sound like a burger sort of person.  Vienna raised her eyebrows at him as she passed his booth, but something in his expression must have persuaded her to forego questions.  He shut his eyes in relief as she proceeded on to the counter.

 

“Honestly, that is a very strange menu for a diner,” Grandma pointed out.

 

“Maddie said they won it in a poker game.  I’m not sure they’re really diner people.”

 

“Ah, yes, Maddie.  You’ve mentioned her quite often since you took her to the prom last year.  One could almost believe you’ve become friends.”

 

“We have.”

 

“Have you?”  There was something in her tone… Noah’s eyes snapped open. 

 

Luke wouldn’t have – would he?

 

“I can’t tell her, Grandma.  I don’t have the right to do that to Noah.”

 

            He had. 

 

Noah felt his stomach begin to roil.  She knows, she knows, she knows sheknows…

 

It didn’t even matter that he had no real idea who this particular she was.  Luke had told someone, after swearing that he wouldn’t.  Noah felt his mouth go dry in fear.

 

Luke was still speaking.

 

“- I didn’t even have the right to tell you.  I can’t believe I did tell you!”  Luke sounded grumpy.  “You should really be working for the CIA.”

 

Luke’s grandmother laughed.  “Who says I’m not?  Oh, don’t worry so, my dear.  I wouldn’t dream of saying a word about your boy, not that I could pick him out of a crowd at the moment, anyway.” 

 

Noah let out a silent breath in relief.

 

She paused, then went on in a gentler voice.  “But I do wonder – what if you’d caught your young man kissing another girl?  What actions would your ‘friendship’ with Maddie then require?”

 

“I would tell her – you know I would.  But it’s not that simple, Grandma.”

 

“No, I suppose it isn’t.”

 

“I’m not saying I think it’s right – I’ve told him that.  But I understand how he feels, and I know what he’s afraid of – I’ve been there.”

 

“The difference being, that you did not lie, nor involve someone else in a coverup.”

 

“Well-“

 

“Oh, honestly, we’re not going to mention that business with Jade.  She knew you were gay.  You did not lie to yourself.  And you told the rest of us in good time.”

 

“It didn’t feel like it – it felt like it took forever.”

 

“I’m sure it did.”

 

There was another break in the conversation as Vienna returned with their food.  She again made no comment as she passed by Noah, but she frowned at him.  He just shook his head at her helplessly.

 

“The thing is, darling,” Luke’s grandma said between audible bites, “I really have no interest in this boy’s problems, except where they pertain to you.  I’m worried about you, Luke.”

 

“Oh, I’m alright.” 

 

“Are you?”  The small silence was telling.  “I can’t help but feel, young man, that you still have some hopes for a relationship, here.”

 

“What?  I-I would never cheat, Grandma-“

 

“Oh, hush, I know that.  But I can’t help but think this Maddie cannot possibly be completely oblivious to the nuances, even if she is ignorant of the particulars.  She must suspect something is wrong.”

 

Noah sometimes wondered that, too.

 

“I-…I don’t know.  Maybe.”

 

“You’re all so very young, you know.  Eighteen is far too young to find the person with whom to share the whole of your life, your parents frustrating example notwithstanding.  Your two friends could break up next week over the color of the living room rug.  Then what would you do?”

 

“Well…then maybe…I don’t know, maybe I would try…”

 

“Try what?  Being that young man’s secret, the boyfriend he keeps on the down low?”

 

Luke choked out a pained-sounding laugh.  “I can’t even believe you know what that means.”

 

“Hey, I am hip, I am happening – I am your cool grandmother.  I’m sure Emma does not know what it means.  And you’re changing the subject again.  Well?”

 

“Would that be so terrible?”  Luke sure sounded as if it would be.

 

“Honey.  Of course it would be.”  There came the noise of plates sliding across the table.  “Look at me, dear boy.” 

 

“Yes?”  Luke sounded even more miserable.

 

“I want you to listen to me.  I want you to really hear what I am saying, all right?  You are a beautiful, smart, brave young man.  You know who you are and what you want.  And that isn’t to be a secret or a source of shame.  Is it?”

“No, of course not.”  There was another long silence.  Finally, Luke burst out, “But it’s not that easy, Grandma!  Do you know how hard it is to find someone, anyone who understands, who could-“  Luke sighed again, and collapsed against the booth back, making the vinyl squeak.  “I’m not exactly swimming in options, here.”

 

“Oh, nonsense, my dear.”  The strident tones were back.  “I know that your opportunities were limited while you were in high school, but you’re out in the wide world now, and there are a lot of avenues.  It’s college, darling – there’s probably a club!”

Luke laughed.

 

“There, you see?”  Grandma sounded pleased.  “Now, I am very sorry your friend is having such a terrible time, but it is quite plain to me that the boy is simply not good enough for you.  Sadly, that is something I will probably have to say to you many times in the future.  I certainly said it to your mother often enough.”

 

“Yeah, well, you were wrong about that, weren’t you?  With Dad, I mean.”

 

“Yes, all right, I was wrong once in my life.  But that’s my quota.  I’m not wrong about this, Luke, my dear.  You deserve someone who would shout it from the rooftops.  Do you hear me?

 

“I hear you, Grandma.”

 

“Well, then.”  She sounded very pleased.  “I do believe we should meet, then, weekly, and you can give me progress reports on your efforts to find that someone.”

 

Luke laughed again.  “Okay, fine, I surrender.  That’s what we’ll do.”

 

There came the sound of change against Formica, and the vinyl squeaked again as they got up to leave, Luke murmuring something else about the CIA.  His grandmother’s laugh was audible even after the front door closed.

 

Noah sat up slowly, feeling numb. 

           

            “-progress reports on your efforts to find that someone…”

 

Luke wouldn’t really…would he?

 

Vienna came out from behind the counter. 

 

“What was that all about?” she asked.

 

Noah had no answers.

 

Comments

[dkellergrl.livejournal.com]

I love your Lucinda in this story and it's true to character that she would totally want to know what's going on in Luke's life. Noah has another challenge to face: proving himself to Lucinda that he's the one for Luke.

I hope so

[blairprovence.livejournal.com]

One of the things I find frustrating about the way they're telling this story is that Luke is only talking to Noah. Given his experience with coming out, I could see where Lily and Holden would be an awkward choice (and talking to your parents about your love life - oy!), and as Jade going has left him friendless (except for Maddie) - so who's left?

If the stories were a lot better integrated I could see him speaking to Will or Aaron, but they're busy with their own stuff. Lucinda emphatically isn't - and her instant acceptance of him and perpetual nosiness would make her an excellent sounding board. I can just hear her saying, "My dear, your unfortunate taste in men reminds me of your mother's."

But really I'd just like any kind of storyline overlap.

[uberaeryn.livejournal.com]

I really enjoyed this, the dialogue was great! And I jumped up and down when I saw the name of your journal, I do love the City Watch, especially at night. Vimesy rawks, for realz.

[blairprovence.livejournal.com]

Vimesy obsessed, here. I get disappointed when new books are about Rincewind, 'cause I'm a Watch girl. Although, I do like DEATH also. And his granddaughter Susan. :)

[trascendenza]

Love Luke's grandma! And Noah's inner conflict is very true to his character.

[blairprovence.livejournal.com]

Luke's grandma should definitely be involved here, as she was so clearly on his side from the beginning of his coming out. And I like the idea of her being totally biased on Luke's side - so many others would be sympathetic to Noah, because he truly is in a hard place, but Lucinda never lets things like fairness upset her loyalties. And I like that, because Luke is so fair himself - he needs someone there just for him (and they won't let ME do it.)