FIC Not Even Jimmy Olsen (3/6) (BUFFY)

[blairprovence]

Buffy and Xander were standing by the front passenger door when Cordelia and I reached her car. She glared at them and pointed to the back door. "You can ride in the back."

 

"Cordelia, Xander's hurt." He really did look pathetic, but not seriously wounded, and I wondered if he had some reason other than injury for leaning so heavily on Buffy.

 

Cordelia waved me toward the passenger door. "His head's his least vulnerable spot, as you very well know. And I offered her a ride first. Take it or leave it." She opened the driver's door, her voice was sharp with something that sounded almost like hurt as she spat the last sentence. Buffy must have heard it as well, because she just nodded and helped Xander toward the back seat. Suddenly I wondered if perhaps Buffy had been the real reason why Cordelia and Xander broke up.

 

No one said anything as Cordelia put the car in gear and peeled out of the lot toward the entrance to the Bronze, where Willow was already waiting. She climbed in next to Buffy, barely managing to close her door before Cordelia jammed her foot down on the gas pedal and took off again. Xander let out a muffled curse as his head knocked against the side window.

 

I could see Buffy in the mirror, perched uncomfortably on the ridge between the two back seats. She was watching the back of Cordelia's head with an expression of...compassion, it looked like. I wondered why.

 

"Thanks for offering us a ride, Cordelia," she said finally, breaking the pregnant silence. "It's probably a good idea to get Giles on this as soon as possible."

 

Giles...Mr. Giles? The librarian? What did he have to do with this?

 

Cordelia's fingers tightened on the steering wheel. "Yeah, well, I have to get a book from my locker anyway - it's not like I'm going out of my way."

 

Buffy just nodded, but I saw Willow turn her face toward the window and roll her eyes. I found that reaction interesting, since I could remember a time when Willow would have gone far out of her way to avoid being on the receiving end of Cordelia's sharp tongue. Apparently months of close association had blunted that fear, which, strangely enough, hadn't happened for most of the Cordettes - Harmony was really the only one who didn't hesitate to insult her.

 

"So, you guys don't have any info on the green thing?" Cordelia asked, obviously bent on changing the subject. And abruptly I realized how weird it was that I was pondering the psyche of Willow Rosenberg at a time like this.

 

"Nooo," came Xander's sarcastic reply, "but I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say it's a bad green thing."

 

"Just because it attacked you?" Cordelia shot back. "Maybe it's just a huge green monster that roams the Earth, trying to eradicate the losers of the world. I certainly don't think that's any reason for Buffy to slay it!"

 

"Ha ha" was Xander's response.

 

Finally, I could stand it no more. "Shouldn't we call the police...or something?"

 

Buffy's gaze flicked dismissively over me. "And tell them what? We were attacked by a giant Martian? They'd never believe us - they'd think we were playing a joke or something, and, frankly, the last thing I need is something else on my record."

 

"B-but you didn't do anything wrong?" I sputtered.

 

"Like that makes a difference," Xander muttered under his breath. The others grimaced in agreement.

 

Cordelia yanked the steering wheel to the right, and the car jerked up the curb into the nearly empty faculty parking lot. She parked haphazardly at the end of the sidewalk, about one hundred feet from the side entrance. "Everybody out!"

 

They exited the car with alacrity, Willow mumbling something under her breath about 'driver's ed'.

 

"How are we supposed to get in?" I asked Cordelia, gesturing toward the door we were approaching. "I'm sure it's locked."

 

"It is," Buffy agreed, overhearing me. She pulled a ring of keys from her pocket and slipped one of them into the doorlock. A moment later, we were inside.

 

"Where did you-" Cordelia shot me a look and I shut up.

 

Buffy, Xander and Willow turned down the hallway that led to the library. "Thanks again for the ride, Cordelia," Buffy called over her shoulder.

 

"Yeah, right," Cordelia huffed, turning in the opposite direction, and heading for her locker.

 

"You mean, you really did need a book from your locker?" I blurted before her glare made me realize it wasn't the smartest question, and I scrambled for something else to say. "Um, so what's the deal with Buffy's boyfriend?"

 

"You don't want to know," she replied darkly. "Just...if you ever find yourself alone in an alley with him or something, run the other way."

 

"Does he, like, beat her up? Because, you know, she really does seem like she can take care of herself."

 

She spun the dial of her combination lock. "She can...it's just that...well, Buffy can't think straight when it comes to Angel. And believe me when I tell you that's a bad thing - for like, everyone on Earth." She pulled what looked to be a library book out of the locker, glanced at it, and shoved it back inside, slamming the door shut. "Damn."

 

"What?" I asked as we turned back toward the exit.

 

"That was volume II. I was supposed to check out volume III."

 

"We could go by the library and pick it up," I suggested, more than a little interested in finding out a bit more about MonsterGuy...and what in the world Buffy and friends thought they could do about it.

 

She shook her head, her gaze disconcertingly dark as she regarded me seriously. "I'm warning you - don't do it." The glow from the exit sign over the outside door lit her face eerily.

 

"Don't do what?"

 

"Don't get involved." She shoved the door open, pushing so hard that it rebounded against the wall. "Don't let them suck you in." I don't think I'd ever seen her so grim.

 

The door clicked shut behind us as we stepped out into the night air. "The way they sucked you in?" I asked, managing not to flinch when she whirled on me with a deadly glare. "I mean, you're dealing pretty well with the whole floating monster thing - I'm guessing this is not your first one."

 

She scowled. "That's so not the poi- oh, shit!" Her eyes widened in horror at something she saw over my shoulder. I spun around to see what was behind me that could have shocked her so, and was rewarded by the sight of an amorphous green glow coming from around the corner of the building.

 

The corner of the building that just happened to be much closer to Cordelia's car than we were.

 

"Oh, shit," I breathed in complete agreement, turning back to her, wide-eyed.

 

She pulled her keys from her purse and shoved the bag toward me. "Get the gun out and hold it off." She began flipping frantically through the overladen keyring.

 

"What?" I asked, my voice rising hysterically.

 

"Shoot it!" she snapped, jamming one of the keys in the keyhole. It was apparently the wrong one, because she let out another curse and yanked it out.

 

"Cordelia, it's a water gun," I replied, pulling it out anyway. Hell, what did I know? Maybe giant glowing monsters are afraid of water.

 

"I know that," she said, exasperated. "It's Holy water, okay? For God's sake, just do it!"

 

Her words brought forth a bizarre mental picture of a monster-filled Nike commercial, but that train of thought was quickly interrupted by the appearance of said monster from around the corner of the building. It - well, the only word I can think of is oozed - along the brick, and though I couldn't see its facial features any more clearly than I had in the alley, I was still left with the distinct impression that it was pissed.

 

Perhaps because green slime still ran in rivulets down to the concrete from the wounds Buffy had inflicted.

 

"Um, Cordelia-" My voice trembled more than a little.

 

"I see it," she hissed, trying out yet another key. "If you can just hold it off for a couple of seconds..."

 

Taking a deep breath, I brought the gun up and squeezed the trigger. A surprisingly powerful stream of water shot out toward the monster, falling just short of hitting its glowing form. It (He? She?) looked down at the wetness on the asphalt, and I could have sworn that it seemed puzzled.

 

You and me both, Mr. Monster, Sir.

 

"That's it, stay back," I told it in a pitifully weak imitation of Cordelia's strident tones.

 

The creature paused for a few more precious moments, then resumed its forward course.

 

I swallowed and squeezed the trigger again. This time the water stream hit it. I held my breath, waiting for God knows what - an explosion, a disintegration, a meltdown like the Wicked Witch of the West... I suppose it's a testament to Cordelia's seeming utter certainty that I expected something to happen.

 

But nothing did.

 

"Uh, Cordelia-"

 

"Got it!" she shouted, grabbing my arm as she shoved the door open. She yanked me roughly inside, and I stumbled against the wall as she pivoted and slammed the door shut behind us, letting the lock click home. A moment later the long thin window inset was filled with an irate monster-face. My mouth dropped open in horror at the close call.

 

"Come on," Cordelia insisted impatiently, still tugging on my arm, "or do you want to hang around until it smashes the door in?" Sure enough, the creature was pounding on the metal - to considerable effect, it seemed, as dents began to appear at random.

 

We turned and ran.

 

I have never thought of Cordelia as being particularly athletic. I mean, sure, she's a cheerleader, but our cheerleading squad tends to be more the "go, team" type than the multiple back handsprings variety. But I found myself hardpressed to keep up with her as she sprinted down the hallway toward the library, and my next irrelevant thought was to wonder how she could run at all in three-inch heels.

 

We skidded to a halt in front of the double doors. "Giles!" Cordelia yelled, shoving them open. "Buffy!"

 

Xander and Buffy looked up from the central table, where they sat amid piles of books - Buffy was holding another long piece of wood, sharpening it with a knife, while Xander appeared to be flipping through the pages a large dusty tome. Willow sat at the other end of the table in front of a computer, her fingers dancing over the keyboard so quickly they were almost a blur.

 

Mr. Giles stepped out from his office, his brow furrowed as he blinked at us, clearly startled at the sight of two wild-eyed girls panting in the doorway. "Cordelia! Are you all right?" I nearly did a double take at his appearance, because he looked nothing like the seriously tweedy librarian I was accustomed to seeing roam the halls. He wore a blue dress shirt rolled up at the sleeves and open at the collar, dark suspenders and khaki pants, and for the first time I truly understood how some people could believe Buffy had the hots for him.

 

"We're fine," Cordelia gasped, "except we just ran into Xander's stupid monster!"

 

"It's here?" Buffy exclaimed, leaping up from the table. "Where?" She exchanged a pointed look with Mr. Giles, who disappeared back into his office.

 

"It came around the corner of the building when we were leaving. And, oh, by the way, holy water? Pretty much not gonna hurt it."

 

"Is it inside the building?" Xander asked.

 

"It probably is by now," she said, glaring at him as though the creatures reappearance were entirely his fault . "What the hell did you do to piss it off so badly, anyway?"

 

"What?" he sputtered, but was interrupted by Willow.

 

"We don't know what it is yet," she muttered crossly, glaring at the computer terminal. "How are we supposed to know how to kill it?"

 

How to kill it? 

Part 4