FIC Nine Side Effects Wilson Hasn't Got (and one he does) (HOUSE)

[blairprovence]

One of my entires for WilsonFest 2007 - because there can never be enough Wilson.


Title:  Nine Side Effects Wilson Hasn't Got (and one he does)
Author:  Blair Provence
Prompt:  43. Anti-depressants often have a negative effect on the sex drive. How does Wilson deal with this? Does he mourn the loss of his libido? Does he celebrate it?
Rating:  PG
Character(s)/Pairing(s):  Wilson, House
Warnings:  None
Disclaimer:  All things House belong to NBC Universal, Bad Hat Harry, David Shore et al.
Summary:  The title says it all, really

Nine Side Effects Wilson Hasn't Got (and one he does)        (1/1)

Antidepressants often cause unpleasant side effects. Many of these side effects last only a few weeks and then go away on their own. Still, side effects are the most common reason people stop taking antidepressants. Always tell your doctor about your side effects, as some are serious. Don't stop taking your antidepressants or reduce the dosage without talking to your doctor or mental health professional first. Suddenly stopping can cause withdrawal-like health problems. Click on the tabs…to see coping strategies for the most common side effects of antidepressants

 1         NAUSEA

 2         INCREASED APPETITE, WEIGHT GAIN

 3         FATIGUE, DROWSINESS

 4         INSOMNIA

 5         DRY MOUTH

 6         BLURRED VISION

 7         CONSTIPATION

 8         DIZZINESS

 9         AGITATION, RESTLESSNESS, ANXIETY

10         SEXUAL SIDE EFFECTS

 

 

NAUSEA

 

            Wilson doesn’t know what Chase did to make House angry, but House is employing typically juvenile tactics to pay the younger doctor back, and Wilson is having a very hard time keeping a straight face.  The entertaining part is how well House’s plan seems to be working.  The peanut butter Reuben with the salad pepper garnish and side of FunYuns that House shows every evidence of enjoying – literally, as he chews with his mouth wide open – seems to have turned Chase’s fair complexion an unpleasant shade of green.   Chase stares down at the glass tabletop, swallowing convulsively as House makes orgasmic sounds while masticating his luncheon treat.

 

            Wilson hides a smile as he downs the last bite of his own grape-jelly-and-tuna on rye combo, a gift from his best friend. 

 

When House pays, Wilson eats.

 

INCREASED APPETITE, WEIGHT GAIN

 

            Wilson visits his storage unit on a fine spring day in April.  He elbows his way through boxes of books, an end table he doesn’t quite remember buying and a single table lamp, shade askew, to reach the wardrobe boxes at the back of the unit.

 

            He hadn’t taken his entire wardrobe with him when he’d left Julie behind – it wasn’t like House was going to offer him closet space, after all.  And his sartorial selection, as with most people’s, represented several levels of fitness – ‘fat clothes’, ‘regular clothes’, and ‘it fit in college and surely will again someday’ clothes. 

 

            He’d mostly taken the ‘fat clothes’ collection with him to House’s condo, his end-of-marriage weight gain occurring depressingly on cue.  He’d made do, mostly, with that same array of suits for the past year, even as a return to pre-divorce appetites slimmed him down.  It is easy enough to wear clothes that are too large, after all – it is the other way around that presents more problems.  But he is tired of the depressing sameness of his limited wardrobe, and it is easier to come here to retrieve better-fitting garments than to go shopping.  Or, g-d forbid, to have all of the ‘fat clothes’ altered.   

 

            He doesn’t really think he’ll marry a fourth time, so he’s unlikely to need the ‘fat clothes’ again.  But then, who knew?

           

FATIGUE, DROWSINESS

INSOMNIA

 

            He’d stopped the constant yawning after a month, finally, and had settled into a regular eight-straight sleeping schedule.  It had felt rather bizarre the first few times he’d awakened with the dead-limb feeling that told of an undisturbed night, but now he likes it. 

        

DRY MOUTH

BLURRED VISION

DIZZINESS

 

            “You are perky,” House accuses, as if declaring Wilson a triple-murderer.  “Bright-eyed, bushy-tailed…you do realize this means I have to kill you, right?”  House’s eyes are bloodshot and he blinks repeatedly into the watery early-morning light, as though unsure upon which planet he walks.  Or lurches, really.  His cane clatters unsteadily against the Volvo’s passenger door.

 

            “Clean living,” Wilson returns, sliding easily into the driver’s seat.  “Here.”  He hands House one of the coffee cups from between the seats.

 

            “Stay of execution,” House concedes as he bolts the coffee, heedless of the temperature.  He snatches up the second cup when Wilson reaches for it.  “Uh-uh.  Mine.”

 

            Wilson grins, unconcerned – House is right, he feels perky.  He reaches over to the CD player and cues up Oklahoma!, laughing like a loon as House begins to curse.

 

CONSTIPATION

 

            Wilson knows that some of their colleagues find it a little odd that he and House can so often be found chatting in the restrooms.  Cranston from Radiology had made a joke about the “female need to whizz in packs” the last time he’d encountered them in one on the fourth floor.  But it really is just a good opportunity to talk – because of Vicodin’s side effects, House often spends extended periods in the bathroom. 

 

Wilson is just there to keep him company.

 

AGITATION, RESTLESSNESS, ANXIETY

 

            Today House is ranting – about what, Wilson isn’t entirely sure, but, then, he also doesn’t really care.  Wilson reclines comfortably on the Eames chair in the corner of House’s office, dozing lightly, recovering from a workday that began four hours earlier than usual.  House’s chair may not look all that comfortable, but it is surprisingly cozy, and he feels bonelessly relaxed. 

 

The fellows watch, wide-eyed, as their boss paces back and forth, wheeling between the office and the conference room like a metronome.

 

Wilson sleeps.

 

SEXUAL SIDE EFFECTS

 

            Dr. Olivia Carlson, newly-minted Gynecological Oncologist, is a petite, dark-haired, brown-eyed dynamo, a much-valued addition to Wilson’s department.   The nurses respect her, the patients trust her and the patients’ families adore her.  Cuddy likes her, even, since the young doctor has volunteered for two thankless committees already, without prompting from the Dean.  The male fraternity of hotshot surgeons appreciates her – while not a beauty, she is easy enough on the eyes and can take or leave their not-so-funny jokes.  Other female doctors accept her because she is, always, professional.

 

            House despises her, but for no real reason.

 

            Wilson understands her, fundamentally, because she is Wilson, only better looking in a skirt.  The need to be liked, the need to be the best, the need to do the most…and underneath, the personal neediness that requires she become everything for everybody.

 

            He wonders if she has a House, or if she will burn out beforetime.

 

            Wilson is careful to get to know her, the way he does with all of the members of his department.  They bond over a mutual appreciation of odd Canadian comedies, trading DVDs of Slings and Arrows and Corner Gas.  They compete to create the perfect Indian curry and a to-die-for chocolate chip muffin.  They trade lines from the Music Man in every email.

 

            She likes him and wants to be with him – he knows this, because he always knows.  He’s not the manwhore House likes to accuse him of being, but he listens, and that’s really all it takes. 

 

She likes him, would sleep with him in a heartbeat – would probably marry him in spite of the three that have gone before.  She is not fixable, in the way that Wilson is not fixable, in the way that House is not fixable, and it occurs to Wilson that she might just be what he has needed all along.

 

            But she might not be, and House is waiting, and so Wilson tells her good night.

 

 

 End (1/1)

 

 

 
 

 

Comments

[fallin4redheads.livejournal.com]

But she might not be, and House is waiting, and so Wilson tells her good night.

I just. I love that. Because she does sound like
Wilson's "perfect match". But a "perfect match" is too boring for Wilson, of course. And House is so wrong for Wilson that he's right. I just love how Wilson seems to know all that, and doesn't care.

[wasabi-girl1.livejournal.com]

I liked it. Nice format and all. :)

[phinnia.livejournal.com]

I love this, especially the last part. And Chase's face in the first part. Poor soul. *stifled giggle*

[darkangelazure.livejournal.com]

I loved this, the format was perfect and spreading info about anti-depressents just makes you a cool person in my book! I wouldn't mind finding out who Dr. Olivia Carlson House is it would be cool to see a female House lol Ace job! Can't wait to see more of your work.

[alemyrddin.livejournal.com]

original and in character.
very well done.

:)

[blairprovence.livejournal.com]

It's odd, but I kind of look at House/Wilson the way I looked at Mulder/Scully during the first 7 or so years of the X-files. Meaning I think that the only thing they aren't getting from one another is the physical act of sex - but that all of their other needs are so tied into that person that no other person could hope to come between them.

Since I believe that as of right now, on the show, H&W are not involved in a sexual relationship (the way M&S weren't for most of their show's run), I feel like this story slots into canon. Wilson without a sex drive gets everything he needs (or at least wants) from House. I'm not sure it's healthy, but...

I will be interested to see if they have Wilson try romance again.

[blairprovence.livejournal.com]

It didn't strike me until I was almost finished that almost all of the symptoms that Wilson is lucky enough not to have, House DOES. Poor House.

Thanks!

[blairprovence.livejournal.com]

I had a friend who used to do this to her boyfriend. And her combos could be a lot more stomach turning.

Thanks for the feedback.

[blairprovence.livejournal.com]

This is my first foray into HouseFic, mainly because I worry about getting the voices right. Glad you liked Wilson.

[blairprovence.livejournal.com]

I do like the side effect lists on various medications - especially the ones that seem inherently contradictory, like drowsiness and insomnia. I had to do research to find out the possible effects, and once I saw the list the format just seemed right. Thanks!

[blairprovence.livejournal.com]

Thanks! Glad it sounded like Wilson.

[petrichor-fizz.livejournal.com]

You said it better than I ever could. Loved this.

[beren-sama.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I was reading it and I thought that too! It's kind of like House took the anti-depressants instead of Wilson, lol, but it's just his personality. Awww. :P

[blairprovence.livejournal.com]

And, I guess, that a lot of side effects are common to a lot of different medicines.

Thanks!